The Temptress

Persuasion by my parents, and a horrible feeling that I was providing a tempting habitat for a vast number of creatures, unknowingly and dangerously bringing tears of joy to PETA campaigners, convinced me to clean my room yesterday. As I trekked through my personal Amazon, I stumbled upon a number of torn sheets of paper, which included my first stab at poetry. Though my handwriting remains undecipherable even to me, I could decode much of it, and this is how it goes...

Turning my head to the morning sun,
the sea I see stretching to the horizon.
The sea I see that I pledged to conquer,
the dream I sacrificed everything for.

In the sweet smell of the infinite waters
my stomach stopped to burn, my mind did turn,
away from hunger, away from thirst,
in happiness my heart threatened to burst.

Ominous signs that would end our tale,
we did see, but we had to sail.
Through the seething sea we did navigate,
Under clouds gray, warnings from fate.

As the ship took the storm's blows,
the deck boy in his ragged clothes
was taken into the sea's embrace,
a lover's hug in death's face.

Turning my head to the morning sun,
the sea I see stretching to the horizon.
The sea I see that I pledged to conquer,
the dream I sacrificed everything for.

Death shall come and go again,
I shall die in my lover's arms again.
Never shall I leave the infinite cycle
With the pledge to conquer unfulfilled

Sanctify

Holier than thou
When might is virtue
hell ascends to earth.
Tortured dreams
to quench a power lust,
insatiable.
Feed your evil fantasies
with tears,
mangled bodies.
What saviour
dooms hope,
shackles the world.

Sanctify your hell.
Bring the world to it's knees,
to satisfy your greed.

Unnamed

From the velvet skies,
dark velvet skies
stare countless eyes
'neath my skin they crawl
bare my soul.
My mind's a maze
emotions ravage
yet they search
all they find's your face.
Memories of you
I try to bleed away
but they stay
no escape.
Long has been
my exile.
Lost wanderer
castaway
fleeing thoughts
of your embrace.
Memories of you
I try to bleed away
but they stay
no escape

The Path I Tread-1

An update about how my life's going. It's been three weeks since my college started, and I would say things are getting a hell lot better (this is especially for those to who have seen me catch the highly contagious I'm-more-miserable than you syndrome...) but as you might have guessed, yes, there's a but...internals next week...exams...*sigh*

The madness ensues, and I have no idea what to do. The books prescribed by the coll suck, and one of my reverred lecturers has gone backwards, teaching the most obscure lessons without teaching the basics, thereby making us bump into the door to the world of electronics repeatedly and getting concussions since we don't have the keys. Infact, she was so mind-numbing, I at one point started to hate the subject.

My methods of survival are as follows...testing my engineering abilities by manufacturing paper airplanes and testing their capability of flight when the lecturer turns around, chucking paperballs at the fan and watch it hit some random person and thereby starting a covert paperball war, screaming in class with like-minded fellow backbencher's (though I'm a middlebencher), and occassionally pretending I need a visit to the ICU because of the brain-damage caused by the wisdom imparted.

Unfortunately for me, plans to study remain plans as I try to recuperate by watching TV, and chatting on the internet. I hope to start today, so wish me luck...

PS. if I dont reply to any mails/messages after october 6th, you know where I am...hope I rest in peace...

Blinded

Beliefs iron wrought,
battered, torn down,
Unable to shield my mind.
Fears unseen,
lurking in veils,
Shaped into my deepest desires.
Cradled by the dirt
I lie unnoticed
Beside the grave of truth.

I’m losing my essence
Trapped in a moment.
My path still unclear
With my life broken.


Leering destiny,
Vengeful death,
They haunt my every step.
Hateful misery,
Sadistic pain,
There seems to be no escape.
Cursed words,
Taunting me,
Pull me towards the dark.

I’m losing my essence
Trapped in a moment.
My path still unclear
With my life broken.

The Beast Within

Tantalizing light from the moon, the stars,
And a hand reaches to the sky.
Deluded by the voices that call me a farce,
I can't hold on to who I am.

Voices, voices I hear,
Resurrected demons relishing fear.
Terrified I flee,
But where can I go, to free myself from me.
Imprisoned fury now unleashed.
My unhealed scars now they bleed.

I can't hear my screams,
when I'm lost inside
I'm losing control,
Why, why?

Accusations I hear,
Of thoughts I detest when my soul disappears.
So hard, so hard I try,
But the monster within, it craves to fly.
At the altar of my past I'm sacrificed.
The unforgiven rejoice my demise.

I can't hear myself scream
When I'm lost within
I'm losing control,
Why, why?

What have I become?

The Chosen

Thanks to positive responses I'm putting up another song I found that I wrote a long time ago...

Torn rose with blood stained thorns,
a lone flower in the crimson sea.
Millions of tears as the heavens mourn
attempting to wash you clean.
Contemplate,
Is it your fate,
are you a sacrifice?

Suffer alone,
you're on your own,
Don't wait for anyone
Broken you go on...

Torn rose with blood stained thorns,
burning in the pyre of hate
The winds of time, blew swift now gone,
No madness yet unmade...
Don't you see,
there is no need
for a sacrifice.

Suffer alone,
you're on your own,
no help will come along.
broken you go on...

Don't follow a path
make your own.
Do what it takes,
force your way through
Make your destiny.

Save Me

Just wish we finished composing the tune for this, Arvind. We could have finally played an original, and I could have sung a song I wrote...

I lie alone in this room.
I cower from the shadows that move,
within my head.
I feel strange.
I feel so cold that I feel numb,
yet I feel fear.

Breathe life into me,
I'm crumbling.
Breathe some life into me,
I'm dying.

Mottled things in my soul.
Rotting inside I'm losing it all,
clinging to the rust
Naked within winter's heart
The frost spreads through my veins,
heads for my heart.

And then I see you open the door,
I see your face as your eyes seek me,
and I feel hope. No more alone...
Breathe some life into me,
I'm crumbling.
Breathe some life into me,
I'm dying.
Because once I fade into the dust,
your tears won't bring me back.
Save me now.

About Me

Through the path haunted by ghosts of failed attempts, through darkness and light, through the fiery mists of uncertainity, walks a man...in search of the power to defy that which stood unquestioned for millennia and breeds despair...
on a quest...for immortality....

Through the skies, over the torn landscapes, above the crumbling mountains, the dying rivers, the burning forests...unable to see that which it has conquered, a blind falcon soars...
trying to survive...

In the heaps of dust that keeps buried deep within its breast hopes and dreams reluctant to resurface, in the shadows of a perpetual night devoid of moon and stars, within an unending desert created grain by grain through the ages...blooms a wild flower, to defy...
awaiting dawn...

The traveller, the blind falcon, the wild flower...Multiple facets that blend to create a bottomless depth that forms an illusion of never having existed....

Colours of Darkness

The heart bleeds as the soul sits still. Moments slip away as the unforgiving sands of time escape the desperate clutch. A waltz through the thin line between genius and madness leads to the precipice of the unseen. A veil is lifted, and the soul sees more than the eyes ever could. The shadows sing the haunting tune of the soulless as a vertigo takes over, a vortex of screams and tears ravages the mind.

Beneath the surface of the ocean of what could have been, lies the truth. The reason, which mercilessly taunts and calls out, lurking just out of reach. The reason, the tool to cut through the intricate web of illusion we weave to preserve our sanity. The reason, the truth that is feared.

Life. The cost of a moment of enlightenment. The cost of a moment of clarity that remorselessly shows what is.

Life. The cost of seeing the colours of darkness.

Etched

As I stared at the sky, morning faded into noon, noon to dusk and dusk to night. Among the clouds I could see your face. Your smile, your dimples....your eyes...abysses that I once lost myself in. Memories of the times when I knew we were inseperable...when we could not fathom where one of us began and the other ended whirled around.

Our first meeting, I remember so well...you coaxed me out of my fortress, where I was caught in a web of comfortable complacence woven by the crowd that I knew so well, pulled me away from it all and made me fly with you....

Your silken tresses , your deep brown eyes, your ready smile. The way you looked so beautiful no matter what you did...the way even in silence so much could be told when you were with me...

The day we both foresaw came and went. We both chose to go on our seperate paths as the fleeting moments we had together could not compensate for the time we were not with each other...because letters and phone calls were just not the same...

Yet, even now, as I walk down the road of memories when I find the time, when the wind sways the trees that surround me, I hear whispers of your name.

I will never regret any of the time we had together. It was worth the pain. You taught me how to fly...

The Solution

Our identity is something we hold in highest priority…to maintain a uniqueness that defines us, and separates us from the rest. And yet, what we also hold dear are things that hold us together, for as is evident, man is a social being…religion, for example. We struggle, put our differences aside and go into war for religion. But even this unification is flawed, due to the diversity that exists within this idea.

Uniqueness is beauty. Without uniqueness, there will be no excitement, no joy, no sorrow. And here the question must be put forward…is our identity so precious that we may ignore the millions of deaths caused by an intolerance that slowly yet steadily builds up against ideas and views that others hold in reverence?

For a solution exists…efficient, but loathed by everyone, including me. The removal of uniqueness. The death of identity. To forge a machine that all of mankind will be units of, no more.

Melancholy

Dedicated to the man who had nothing to share but his memories, who for the very first time showed me the inescapable point in a person’s life when one cannot live in the moment.

Unseeing eyes stare into the distance, peering to a future that is not. Within, the mind is a storm of memories that come unbidden. The fire that once defined everything has burned out, and the ash of sacrifices made is all that remains, to be blown away by the winds of time that caress the soul all the while eroding it gently. Yet, within the storm and winds dust settles upon the heart. The past is where it shall live, defying time, for nothing but void fills the moments now as they pass slowly, for life is no more the pause pregnant with possibility as it once was…

The Birth Of A Blog

It begins. Perhaps this is not the best of times for me to start a blog. My college starts this Saturday, and going by what my friends say, i'll be dying beneath mounds of homework (the inevitable fate of the student) without time for this. But its done.

I think I'm bumping into a writers block. My first blog, my first post. I suppose this is the point where I'm to tell you what this blog will be like. I'm afraid I have no idea. We'll just have to wait and see what it evolves into.